7 Tips for Navigating Pet Loss and Grief
By Kelly Harnett
“Nobody questions our pet’s ability to make us happy… losing them can absolutely have the opposite effect and break our heart.”
Feeling deep grief from the loss of a pet is normal. Read that again, feeling deep grief from the loss of a pet is normal. It is OK to feel extreme and deep loss when the eyes of your best friend close for the last time.
We have received a number of cremation assistance applications lately promoting me to write this blog post. When I lost Hobo March 30, 2012, my world was turned upside down. Hobo was my best friend. He had been with me through some very difficult times and some of the best experiences of my life. We were inseparable from the day he came into my life and letting him go, though I knew it was best for him, changed my soul. One thing that unexpectedly helped me was reading the book A Dog’s Purpose. Yes, it made me sob, but by the next page it had me belly-laughing and it gave me peace.
A Thoughtful Gift
A dear friend from college, one who had previously stated “dogs belong outside” (until he fell in love with a dog), had Hobo recreated for me using the service My Pet Replica for my birthday. It is still one of my favorites and most cherished items.
Grief is hard, whether it is a human family member or a furry family member. People who haven’t bonded with a pet are not likely to understand what you are experiencing which can make the mountain of grief seem even bigger and can often times make you feel like you are all alone. For some, losing a beloved pet is harder than losing a beloved person. This was the case for me. I had lost many people I loved dearly, up until I lost my father, losing Hobo was at the top of my list. Pets often become cherished members of our families, providing unconditional love, companionship, and comfort. It is natural to experience deep grief. Here are some steps you can take to help you cope with the loss:
1. Acknowledge your feelings: It's important to recognize and accept your emotions. Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, guilt, and any other emotions that may arise. Understand that these feelings are normal and part of the grieving process.
2. Seek support: Reach out to friends and family who have lost a pet or a support group that focuses on the loss of a pet. Sharing your feelings and memories with others who truly understand the loss you feel can provide solace, comfort, and validation during this challenging time.
3. Create a memorial: Consider creating a tribute or memorial to honor your pet's memory. This could be a photo album, a scrapbook, planting a tree in their honor, or if you are like me, creating a nonprofit. A memorial can be a meaningful way to remember and celebrate the life of your beloved pet.
4. Share your memories: Talk about your pet; share stories, anecdotes, and memories of the happy times you spent together. It has been over ten years since I lost Hobo and I still share stories about him. I don’t cry as much now as I did in the beginning, but it still chokes me up and that is OK. This can help keep their spirit alive and provide a sense of closure.
5. Take care of yourself: Grief can be physically and emotionally draining. Make sure to take care of yourself during this time. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
6. Allow yourself to heal: Healing takes time, and everyone's grieving process is different. Be patient with yourself, give yourself grace, and allow time to process your emotions. Avoid rushing or expecting to "move on" quickly. You'll gradually find a sense of acceptance and peace in your own time.
7. Consider seeking professional help: If you find yourself unable to cope with the loss of your pet, or if your grief significantly affects your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist, counselor, or grief coach experienced in pet grief can provide guidance and support.
Remember, mourning the loss of a pet is a personal experience, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Nor is here a set amount of time you are allowed to grieve. Be gentle with yourself, allow yourself time and space to navigate through your feelings at your own pace, and remember to breathe. Greif is like a HUGE ball in a tiny box with a grief button. At first you cannot move without the ball touching the button. As time goes on, the ball gets smaller, and it doesn’t constant touch the button. It never fully disappears and when it hits the button, it can feel just as intense as the day grief hit, however, generally it becomes easier to get through each day.
Navigating through grief is not a straight line. In Pet loss grief; the pain explained TEDx Talk with Dr. Sarah Hoggan, she explains we learn to live with a loss, there is no timeline, no deadline; it is a process of discovery to be experienced at one’s own pace. Dr. Sarah Hoggan, an emergency veterinarian, she shares her thoughts about pet loss and grief. The beginning is a bit sad, but if you stick with it, you will receive yet another perspective on a topic so near and dear to our hearts.
Grief sucks, it is messy, it is hard, and it can feel like it will last forever. If you are grieving the loss of a beloved pet right now, my heart goes out to you. I want you to know what you are going through and what you are feeling is normal. But if it starts to consume your life and you can’t get out of bed, please reach out to a professional to help you navigate that mountain. You can’t climb Mt. Everest without a guide. It is OK to need help too. I did.
“Remember to breathe.”
